Learning how to let go of past events
Too often we get stuck with issues that are not supposed to hold us that long.
Problems must happen in life, no life is perfect and via those problems we learn how to grow and learn more about ourselves and our limits. A lot of times the problems we deal with are not actually that difficult yet it’s how we react to them and deal with them that counts. Sometimes, we are that dumb to let ourself suffer extra long within those problems despite the problem being over. We glue ourselves to the problem with guilt, revenge and shame. As I mentioned in the previous post those are 3 dangerous emotions, deadly dangerous ! It can cause many health problems , stress and depression.
Being grudgy and stubborn about past events cannot bring you anywhere better and you will always suffer from it as a result. Whether you have done wrong or have been hurt by others, there will never be a reason to actually hold onto the pain you’ve experienced in the past, how do you walk into the future when you’re holding onto the past? Lingering through the present while only thinking about the past takes away your chances to improve yourself, enjoy your life , fix what you’ve done, learn how to avoid pain and most importantly be happy.
Ways to let go of past events:
- Change your outlook of life, see things differently. Look at those events as a lesson in life which you learnt from. See the good in the things which have happened for instance when a relationship ends , do not think only about how bad it was and what caused the break up but think about how you used to care for each other so much and the good memories you’ve shared.
- Learn something new. Allow yourself to stop lingering on the thoughts about the skills which you have always lacks and never learnt.
- Exercise. It reduces stress and increases endorphins, chemicals which can boost the state of your mind.
- Remember that holding onto grudge and anger hurts no one more than yourself.
- Express your feelings, not to make those who’ve hurted you feel bad but to know what they have done. Don’t attempt to make them go into a state of regreting and shame for a long time as a revenge.
- Don’t allow yourself to look back and only see the bad that happened, make a list of all the good which has happened to you. Perhaps then you will see that life ain’t that bad as you thought when you focus more on the good.
- Let those tears out. Crying your feelings out also releases the harmful chemicals which built up as a result of stress according to Dr.William Frey II, PH.D.
- See other people’s prespective. They might have not intended to make you upset. There might have been a misunderstanding, you might have missed a point or perhaps you two might not have the same type of thinking at all which makes things hard to agree on.
- Laugh it out. It instantly makes you happier and counters stress,pain and conflict.
- Accept the fact that past events cannot be altered and that there is not point in you dwelling around them.
- Understand that you do not have control over everything. You cannot control what others say about you and even if you could make them stop talking about you , you cannot stop them from thinking badly of you.
- Forgive those who have hurted you and do not hate anyone.
It’s much harder and painful to dislike and hate a person. You get annoyed of everything related to that person and you simply cannot get them out of your mind. So what’s the point in that?
“Hanging onto resentment is letting someone you despise live rent-free in your head.” –Ann Landers
- Do you actually want to be happy? If so, don’t allow yourself to suffer for what has happened in the past and focus on the present and building your future. Let go and free yourself from unnecessary pain.
- Smile more and think positively. Sometimes you’ve got to get hurt to gain more. Sometimes you’ve got to lose to understand more. Remember that whenever something important is taken away from you something much better is waiting for you to accept it with warm open arms.
- You, it’s all up to you. If you choose to think negatively and hold onto resentment there you shall feel it all the time and suffer from it. No one should allow themselves to suffer, self-love is crucial in life. Allow yourself to be happy.
“If you let go a little, you will have a little peace. If you let go a lot, you will have a lot of peace.” - Ajahn Chah